Breaking news! Venus is now direct and I am no longer heartbroken, lovesick, or otherwise smitten (a.k.a. looney). But wow, what a month August was. September is here, and I can already feel the fall air in the mornings down here in Virginia. Some of the leaves have started to fall. All progresses as it should.
This will probably come out more of a ramble-y diary entry (side note, there's a lot of cursing ahead. I am so sorry!) than a solid post, but I'd like to start off with a brief update! Thank you all for the love and support surrounding my mother's cancer. We really do appreciate it. She started her second round last Tuesday, and (thankfully!) has handled this round with flying colors in comparison to her first round of chemo. Thank you all for the well wishes. They keep her going. And a hallelujah to the Divine. Thank you.
Venus retrograde was just weird for me man. I usually don't notice transiting retrogrades much, if at all. Perhaps because I have all planets direct? I regularly shrug off Mercury retrograde. But Venus retrograding in Leo had me downloading dating apps, finding a person I adored, only to spiral into heartbreak within the span of like, three weeks. Wild. Insane. Fuck you Venus retrograde.
I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched.
Edgar Allen Poe
It did, however, change my perception of love, honesty, and truth. It helped me reflect on myself through the heartbreak, how I wanted to approach my next relationship(s), and try to honor what felt true to me. In some ways, in changed my relationship to myself, and how I treated myself. I learned a lot about what I liked, a lot about what I didn't, and I hope that helps me immensely in the long run. What did one person once say? That a lot of dating was actually learning about yourself? Fitting for the sign of Leo, I guess.
So now, after a lot of Taylor Swift (do you think she's a Scorpio rising?) and half jot down journal entries of all the lessons I've learned, I am feeling much better. Not at 100% yet, but much better. More free. So now we've got to tackle Mercury!
Mercury in Virgo retrogrades until September 14th, coming out of its post shadow period around September 30th. Here's a good article on retrograde shadows (pre and post). Speaking of shadow periods, Venus exits its shadow period on October 7th. So soak up all of that weird retrograde energy. Mercury retrograde has been re-teaching me lessons it taught me last time. Which is mostly: please, for the love of God, get a routine and eat healthy. Maybe exercise a little bit. Have some lettuce. With Virgo it is certainly no exception. The importance of boundaries, routine, and structure, both with myself and in every facet of my life come up again, and again, and again. And if you want the lesson to stop, all you gotta do is learn it. So I'm off to figure that out.
But figuring that out, as I'm discovering, involves a lot of reframing and repositioning and expanding and questioning. I have to go from, "Oh my God, what am I going to do with my life?" to reframing that. Because that's too big, and more importantly, I'll never know the answer. So I have to ask myself, "What would I like to do?" Not forever - because I can't even fathom forever - but some general things I'd like. I'd like to go back to college. I'd like to work on my astrology business a little more. And I'd like to exercise a little more. Boom! That's three goals.
When we lower the stakes, things feel a bit easier. We feel like we can mess up. Play around. Have fun. Goals feel much more accomplishable than saving the world. Because goals can be accomplished. Especially if you have little goal posts and rewards. By taking little steps, and making it something I can accomplish and do, I can stave off the depression a little while longer.
If I look at it as some big thing (which, don't get wrong, life is very big) then I get paralyzed. I feel like a little lost fairy with its wings cut off. But when I reframe it into something I can do, those wings start to sprout again. It helps me reestablish a sense of purpose. Which is probably the point - purpose isn't something you search for or find, it's something you do. It is something you make. You are in control of that. You are at the center.
So that's how my Mercury retrograde has been so far. Wish me luck on the doing part. (And I wish the same to you! May this retrograde be full of lovely periods for you all!) It's been a process the last few retrogrades of battling the mind and changing my attitude - hopefully for the better, eventually.
In other astrology news, I am working on my synastry report for AstroApp. I hope that my recent run-in with the love bug should help deepen and broaden my interpretations. I'm thinking about the upcoming October eclipse and the nodes - so there may be an article about that. In light of Venus retrograde, I may also cover more synastry-esque posts.
Anyways, I'm currently reading Love by Roddy Doyle and Predictive Astrology by Christine Shaw (side note: should we have an astrological book club?) and I learned something new! I did not know progressions also went backwards - as in - a day before birth per year. I always thought it was a day after birth represented a year. How fascinating! I'll have to look into it more. The more you know.
I am currently basking under the haze of the midnight oil, but I think I'll leave it here, as this has already been much too long and ramble-y already. Thank you for reading, and I pray you have a good night. :)
Overall, I leave you very thankful and insanely grateful. Thank you all for the love and support. I was totally going to sign off with, "Dancing in the moonlight, Abby" but I'll leave you with this gif instead. Much love and best wishes. <3
How has your Mercury retrograde been? How was your Venus retrograde? Was it restorative? What did you learn?